Seven reasons why I can’t stand tomatooooooes.
1. Who eats something that ends with the word “toes”?
2. I don’t trust seeds. What if I randomly start growing a tomato vine inside of me? Highly unlikely, probably… but stranger things have happened.
3. Squishy. EWWWWW.
4. The smell of an overripe tomato is reminiscent of a third-day quarantined child’s beddroom who’s getting over gastroenteritis.
5. They are red. Red is thought to make you ANGRIER.
6. They come in all different sizes. DISGUISES.
7. The skin on the outside is soft…. too soft. A trap?
